So panicked
Release time:
2020-08-14
So Panic
At noon, the train was moving slowly. People in the sultry car were drowsy. I also hung my head and wanted to narrow my eyes. Suddenly, I found an old man in the opposite seat staring at my schoolbag with strange eyes. My mother! I suddenly trembled all over, is someone staring at my bag? My baby?
I subconsciously held the bag tightly in front of my chest. In fact, there is nothing of value in my schoolbag. I just carry a certificate of "three good students" that I just got, which I took back to show off to the elders in my hometown. This is my baby, don't lose it. Looking closely at the old man opposite, he had a goat beard, a peaked cap and a bad smile on his face. At first glance, he was not a good man, much like a spy in a movie. Did he come to steal my baby? I need to be more careful. After a while, the old man stood up, walked past me and touched me with his arm. I was so nervous. How did he know that there was a treasure in my schoolbag? Did he find my treasure? I quickly changed the direction of the schoolbag and covered it tightly with my hands. In less than two minutes, the old man came back and sat back in place. His eyes were fixed on my schoolbag again. What is he doing? What the hell is he doing? I can't even breathe. When the
train arrived at a small station, I saw a passenger in the front row get off the train, so I quickly dragged my schoolbag to sit in that seat, which was a sigh of relief. At this time, I carefully opened the bag and found that the certificate was still there. I smiled, patted my chest and told myself not to be afraid. But after more than ten minutes, the old man seemed to follow me and sat opposite me again. I couldn't help but get nervous again. Finally, when the train arrived at its destination, I mingled with the people who got off the train and ran to the wharf as if I were running away. I was in a long line to buy tickets to another wharf. I thought, this can finally get rid of the spy tracking.
This boat is traveling on Qiandao Lake, and the scenery along the way is extremely beautiful. Sitting on the boat and looking at the scenery outside the window, my thoughts have drifted to my beautiful hometown. My friends who used to play together may be waiting for me at the entrance of the village. At this time, I found that the old man with a goat beard and a peaked cap appeared in my line of sight again, and he was standing on my left back, his eyes spinning incessantly, as if looking for something. Did he follow me so quickly? Did he really come to steal my treasure? Was he a thief or a spy? I couldn't help but panic again, trembling all over and hugging my schoolbag tightly. After a while, the old man came forward, scanning his eyes. I picked up a magazine from the ship and covered my face and looked out the window to hide my panic. A few minutes later, the old man was gone. At the moment, I am no longer in the mood to enjoy the scenery outside the window, and I have no time to miss my hometown friends any more. I just want to get off the boat earlier and get home safely earlier. When the
cruise ship was about to arrive at the dock, a message came from the radio: a plainclothes policeman caught habitual thieves on the cruise ship and found valuables such as wallets and watches. please take good care of your belongings at any time. When the ship arrived at the dock, the old man in a peaked cap appeared again. He was escorting a young man to the dock with two policemen. Ah! It turned out that the old man was a plainclothes policeman in makeup. I was wrong about him. By this time he had removed the goat beard and looked much younger. The thief in custody was a young man about the same size as me, and he also carried a schoolbag. No wonder the plainclothes police kept staring at me. He must have regarded me as a thief.
Ha ha, false alarm. (Hong Zhiwei)
Tutor Comments (Xu Shuifa, member of Zhejiang Writers Association, writer of short stories):
is naturally smooth in writing, the story goes step by step, and the result is unexpected. In other words, the "baggage" at the end shakes well. In addition, the author's writing skills are good. Just reading the whole article, I feel that "I" has been "on the way home" and "changing the scene", that is to say, the character "I" has been following the progress of the story. Therefore, this article is a complete story, but It is not a novel in the true sense. In addition, the title is written eye, which should have the meaning of outline or play the role of finishing touch. The title of this article is too casual.
The choice of theme is also very important for a short novel. If the theme cannot be innovated, reverse thinking can be considered to process the material, which can bring readers a new feeling through detail innovation without losing a shortcut. In a word, the subject matter, structure, language, details, etc., no matter which aspect, give readers a new experience, even if it is an old bottle of new wine, it will be recognized by readers.
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